I’ve always been taught the importance of words and their meanings. I remember my Dad expressing frustration when I flippantly used the word ‘awesome’ as a teenager. This particular word has a glorious meaning, a meaning that my Dad cherished. And my use of the word made it meaningless! He was offended because ‘awesome’ is how God is described. His desire for me was to preserve this word for God, who is holy.
For my dad, awesome meant: “Arousing or inspiring awe; that fills someone with reverential fear, wonder, or respect.” (Oxford English Dictionary)
For me, as a teenager, I used the word awesome to describe even the most mundane things. If someone spilled their drink all over their white shirt, I might sarcastically remark: ‘Well, isn’t that awesome?’ Or if someone belched really loudly, I might have said: ‘Awesome!’ I used the word 'awesome' constantly as a teen, but I rarely used this word in the way it was intended to be used.
I confess, I still sometimes use the word ‘awesome’ in a flippant way. But I always remember my Dad’s point, and I keep trying to improve in my respect of the meaning of words.
More recently, I had a pastor who really encouraged us to use Biblical words or long-used dictionary words. He was uncomfortable with ultra-politicized words (ie., social justice). He was uncomfortable with certain therapeutic terms (ie., self-esteem). His discomfort was due to the variation of meaning these terms can have. He wanted precise communication so that he could pastor well. He valued justice. He valued those who felt abandoned or lost. He was not trying to demean what people were experiencing, but he wanted to have the tools to shepherd his flock in a more meaningful way, with precision. Therefore, he would always drill down and ask those he was shepherding to explain their concerns with concepts and words we find in Scripture or concepts and words that are well-established and do not have as much variation in meaning. I see the value in precision in communication, and deeply appreciate his reasoning on this.
Towards Better Communication:
We are living in heated times, and I believe we need a better and more glorified way of communicating with one another. Sadly, I find we are often shouting past each other, rather than engaging in sincere dialogue. We use words we don't understand. We use words flippantly. We use words that do not have precision. We can even accuse each other of things that do not apply (ie., calling someone a communist even if they are certainly not a communist; or calling someone a fascist even if they are certainly not a fascist). I confess I also get pulled into this trend. I pray that we can stop this trend.
We need to not be lazy (myself included)! We need precision. For complex ideas, we need to use more than a word. We need a paragraph, and possibly more. In many cases, we need a relationship and several conversations in our homes.
The word that strikes the most confusion in me right now is the word ‘woke’. Honestly, it gives me intense anxiety. Ever since I first heard it! I don’t know what it means! That’s because every person who uses the word seems to have a different definition for it. Sometimes this word means ‘awake’. Sometimes this word is used against the LGBTQ community. Sometimes the people using this word are racist (sadly, this is the most common I see currently). Sometimes the people using this word are anti-disability. Sometimes this word is used against those who seek to be compassionate. Sometimes the people using this word are referring to ‘identity politics’ and ‘progressive politics,' and are concerned that the progressive left went too far in its insistence on being ‘politically correct’ and pushing ‘oppressed-oppressor narratives’ (or more simply put, Critical Race Theory). Sometimes people use this word as a vague combination of all of the above. Sometimes, people use this word, and they just mean ‘the enemy’. No one means the same thing when they use it. It is one of the muddiest words in today’s vocabulary. And sadly, it has become a way to shut someone down. We throw it out there to demean and even demonize others. We use this word to avoid a longer dialogue and discussion, involving questions and careful listening. We often use this word in disgust and in anger. I would argue that the use of this word does not help our conversations, or progress the sharing of the gospel. It does not work towards peace, but inflames conflict.
Looking at Ephesians 4-5:
Ephesians gives us some very helpful direction in how to engage one another. It is counter-cultural. It is beautiful and glorious.
In Ephesians 4:15, the Apostle Paul exhorts us to speak the truth in love, so that we can grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. What a statement! We often neglect one or the other in terms of speaking 'truth' in 'love'. In fact, all too often we neglect both! I believe speaking truth in love must have some degree of clarity. Sadly, the word ‘woke’ is an incredibly muddy word and is often used in anger or frustration rather than love. There is neither a helpful degree of truth nor a careful and sincere love that accompanies the common usage of this word. This verse alone is incredibly convicting to me. I have such a long way to grow in this regards!
Paul further exhorts us to put away falsehood, and speak truth with our neighbours, for we are members of one another (Eph 4:25). If we are accusing someone of being ‘woke’, what do we mean by that? If we cannot clearly describe what we mean, and speak what is true of the person we are speaking with, we are engaging in a form of falsehood. We must cling to the truth, despite the fear that might be bubbling up inside of us. We must discipline ourselves to not inflate or conflate the ideas someone else is expressing. We risk being guilty of falsehood. This is a difficult but necessary discipline in our engagement with one another.
Then Paul tells us that no corrupting talk should come out of our mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Eph 4:29). When we use the word ‘woke’ we are not necessarily considering how we can build up and give grace to those we are speaking to. We often just want to end the conversation and win when we use this word. This is a kind of corruption of speech. Sadly, I think 'woke' can even be used as a propaganda word. It can inflame problems in culture rather than carefully seeking resolutions to problems in culture. I believe we need to be specific about our concerns and dialogue deeply when complex issues are at hand. When we address our family, friends, neighbours we need to be able to communicate with clarity and grace. This will require more than one word. This will typically require a conversation or several conversations, with hospitality and genuine love. Our aim should be to build up rather than tear down. We can learn the skill of conversation where we address disagreements and even address sin while also building up. We need to learn to always bring the gospel into these conversations, and encourage one another with Christ's work on the cross.
Paul continues his exhortation and writes that there should be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead there should be thanksgiving (Eph 5:4). Sadly, when the word ‘woke’ is invoked, it is often being used to ridicule and mock. It is a crude caricature of the person we are talking to that is not necessarily honest or kind. I really appreciate that Paul encourages thanksgiving instead. What a sweet meditation! When I stop and consider what I am thankful for in another person, it gives me a lot of clarity (for that person, about myself and about God). Thanksgiving can reveal God’s work in a person’s life that we hadn’t noticed. Thanksgiving can reveal the grievances we have allowed to grow in our own hearts that prevents us from seeing another person well (or an issue well). Most of all, thanksgiving reminds that God is sovereign, and we can entrust every anxiety and every problem to him. If we do have a concern with someone, or in the culture, we can ask God for help. We can trust God to be in control even if we feel out of control and afraid. It helps us to remember that God is all-powerful, and able to change and revive our hearts, and therefore is able to change and revive the hearts of others. As we give thanks for all of these things, God quiets our hearts, and helps us to enter into a more profitable dialogue with another person. God helps us to use more precise communication but also helps us to have more patience and care in how we engage that conversation.
In Conclusion:
As I remember my Dad’s objection to my flippant use of the word ‘awesome’, I think about the word ‘woke’. I see it being used flippantly all the time. But more importantly, I realise I don’t actually know what it really means. If this is the case, I can’t use the word ‘woke’ in a way that is worthy or helpful.
As I remember my pastor’s request that we use well-established words, I think about the word ‘woke’. This word has no precision in our usage today, and does not help me to communicate. Neither does it help me understand where another person is coming from if they use that word to communicate with me. I don’t know what they are trying to say. It does not help me or the person I am speaking with to understand each other better. We need more words and less emoting when it comes to the word ‘woke’. I’m thankful for what I learned from my pastor, and I try to engage this word in a sober-minded fashion because of him.
I pray for Christians, that we will begin to veer away from using such a vague and muddy word. I pray that we will engage in sincere dialogue again. I pray that we will seek to speak truth in love, balancing faithfully ‘truth’ and ‘love’ to the glory of God.
Book Recommendation: For learning to disagree well with someone, I recommend the book The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends by Gavin Ortlund.
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