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A Sermon and a Long Journey - Counting All Things As Loss

This past Sunday, my husband preached a sermon from Philippians 3:1-11.  He doesn't preach often.  Our family's capacity for much ministry is greatly depleted.  But this particular sermon is the fruit of long years of deep suffering - over a decade of deep darkness and struggle in our family.  If you've suffered various trials, I hope you will take a listen.  I hope you will be encouraged, and I hope you will seek Christ. I have been deeply blessed and ministered to by his meditations! You can find the link at the bottom of this entry!

In 2011, our lives went sideways in a number of catastrophic ways.  The repercussions remain with us now.  We lived in constant fear of the next catastrophic event to undo us.  Around every corner was always another real danger or harm to threaten us.  

This long, dark season of our lives was deeply isolating.  We both wondered if people were afraid that drawing near to us would result in catastrophe landing on them.  We wondered if people thought our suffering was contagious.

We both felt excluded from fellowship.  My daughter felt excluded from fellowship, and wept many times when she saw other families getting together and she wasn't invited.  We felt helpless.  We felt unclean, as if we were outside the camp, not worthy of meaningful community and fellowship and love.  We invited people to visit, and often people said they were too busy - but then we'd see them making plenty of time to visit and engage others.  We didn't even need much.  We just needed people to 'be there' as Dave Furman describes in his book "Being There: How to Love Those Who Are Hurting."  We were unbelievably blessed by someone taking 5 minutes to greet us.

There were times, I would attend church for the first time in months (due to severe health issues), and no one would talk to me.  It felt so de-humanizing.  Sony was utterly dismayed on my behalf.  I was too weak to physically stand up and move towards others.  But few were willing to move towards me, where I was seated in my chair.  In fact, I was told by one friend not to attend church anymore because I looked ugly when I was shaking and unwell.  If we expressed our hurt about our treatment, we were told it's in our heads!  We were told that people do love us. However, for Sony and I, the point was that we were functionally alone.  We needed simple care.  I know many people do sincerely love us, but few people were drawing near into our darkness and extreme pain. We were often compared to other people 'who suffered better.' These better saints were always happy and content in their trials.  They were always rejoicing.  People couldn't see beyond our grief, lament and despair to see how much we were seeking to keep our eyes fixed on Christ.  We were still choosing God, and hoping in His deliverance.  We were not choosing darkness.  We were not abandoning our faith.  And maybe, just maybe, that WAS a kind of joy - a rejoicing in Christ.

God was doing something else in our lives.  In fact, God was doing something radical.  God was asking Sony and I "Do you love Me for Me? If I remove Lynette's health, if I allow for dreams for this life to crash and burn, if I allow for some people to act wickedly and take the lives of the innocent, if I allow the innocent to die, if I allow you to struggle financially, if I allow your mental health to shatter, WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME?  If I allow you to be condemned instead of nurtured, by those who I call my own, WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME?  If I take away all your comforts, WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME?  What are you willing to lay down for me?  Am I worth the cost? Will you bless ME?  Will you bless others and not curse them?  Will you LOVE me?"

God had us on a different path than we expected.  We wanted to serve God - whether in missions, or full-time youth ministry or some kind of recovery ministry.  But God wanted us to LOVE Him.  God wanted us to count everything as loss. Even ministry aspirations! He wanted us to count meaningful community as loss!  He wanted us to count health as loss!  He wanted us to count vacations as loss! He wanted us to count success as loss! He wanted us to count the love and respect of others as loss!  He wanted us to count comfort as loss! He wanted us to count justice as loss (this was one of the hardest ones to swallow)!  He wanted us to count our liberties as loss!  He wanted us to count our safety as loss!  God had something better for us than anything this world could offer.

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. ~Philippians 3:7-11

In our long season of darkness, God showed us Himself.  He taught us He forgives sinners, He DOES indeed redeem their lives from the pit!  He taught us that He NEVER breaks a bruised reed (Isa 42:3).  He taught us that He redeems relationships more beautifully than we ever could have hoped or imagined (though not in every case).  He taught us that He IS FOR US, NOT AGAINST US (Rom 8:31), as much as we felt like He had turned away from us.  He taught us the feebleness of worldy comforts (Ps 37). He taught us the arrogance of the world!  He taught us His power is perfected in weakness (2 Cor 12:9). He taught us the glory of His abounding comforts (see Ps 103).  In the darkness, we learned to love God far better than we had in the light, if what we had before was indeed light!  

We did experience a lot of church hurt.  But through those years, we also experienced great sacrifice from surprising places.  Someone, as sick, or more sick than I made me food and travelled a great distance,  to last for weeks.  Young single men cooked us meals.  Young ladies visited me.  A pregnant woman washed my floor.  I had regular after school care for my daughter.  Family travelled to help us with house projects we could never have accomplished on our own.  We always had help moving.  We learned deep things from the poor and the needy, from those on the outskirts.  We had pastors who prayed for us and wept for us.

And even where there was church hurt, we understood that we might have had some of the very same responses, if the roles were reversed.  It is hard to love the broken.  It is hard to understand loss, and speak meaningfully into that if you haven't experienced much loss.  I don't disclose our hardships in relationships as judgment - because that would be judgment on myself.  I have been guilty of these things as well.  But, as Job learned, sometimes the most difficult trial to face is the one where your own friends torture you with words without knowledge.  We are all guilty of being like Job's friends.  But, for those of us who endure Job-like suffering, relational loss and pain runs very deep.  It's as much part of the trial as the actual trial!  That's just an acknowledgment that relational pain hurts a lot.  It is not fun to suffer alone.  But what God shows Job is that Job was never alone, God was ALWAYS with Him.  How much more for us in the New Covenant, with the Holy Spirit, the Comforter Himself, dwelling in us!  We might feel alone, but we are never really alone.  Keep counting all of these things as loss.  Keep hoping in Christ.  Keep seeking to 'know Christ and the power of His resurrection."  Endure to the end.  God is with you and for you. Life on this side of the sun can be incredibly difficult.  We are promised suffering!  But we are also promised eternal life.  More importantly, we are promised a relationship with our transcendant God.  Glory awaits.  "Wait for the Lord, be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Ps 27:14)


You can hear Sony's sermon here:

https://www.gfcdonmills.ca/mediaPlayer/#/sermonvideo/801


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