Skip to main content

Am I Really Empathetic?

Empathy is far more than a fleeting feeling of sadness over someone else's situation or experience. It is one of the very outworkings or manifestations of love, as we emulate Christ, who went so far as to take on flesh in order to experience our weakness. Empathy listens long. Empathy works hard to cultivate a God-honouring imagination, in order to get into another person's life and world, the influences and the shaping forces, the fears and joys, the deep devastations that have impacted the other person. It is beautiful.  


There are some personalities who are naturally more empathetic. But the danger here is to lose the humility, to lose the commitment to work at listening, to grow lazy in cultivating that imagination, and instead assume that because they are 'naturally empathetic,' they don't need to work at empathy. They have arrived, and don't need to listen long or continue to grow in love.  


I write this, because that's an apt description of myself! Oh, how dangerous indeed, when I assume I'm being empathetic merely because I'm naturally disposed to be empathetic! In this state, I am sure to fail at empathy! Because I am human, I am sinful - and my pride, my selfishness, my arrogance and so much more can cause me to not really enter into someone else's world, all the while being convinced that I have! And when that sin creeps in, my 'false empathy' becomes deadly. I become Job's friends. And I am the opposite of an encourager, a lifter of heads, speaking words that give life. Instead, my words fall short, my assumptions are wrong, my words are rotten and I speak of God what is not true (see Job 42:7-9).


----


"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.


Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
~1 Corinthians 13:1-8a

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Spiritual Battle for My Soul (learn from my near disastrous path to darkness):

After my dear, sweet friend was murdered, I got very lost. I nearly lost my soul.  I pursued a terrifying road to hell.   Grief is always intense, a drowning sensation, an end that is impossible to accept. But in this instance, grief was mingled with profound betrayal. The murderer was also my friend. He was a pastor. I was part of his wedding party. We served in ministry together. He was one of the first to encourage my own relationship with Sony. He was like a little brother. When he was sick, I made soup for him. We laughed together, we sang together, we lived next door to one another. I always had some concerns about him, and he knew it. He often found me glaring at him for this or that childish behaviour. But we laughed about that too. I was protective of the girls, and he knew it. He was part of my main friend group. And he betrayed all of us. All of us…and most of all, her and his own baby. In this case, grief was mingled with confusion. I thought he wa...
Post a Comment
Read more

Is the Word 'Woke' Helpful in our Engagement with Others?

I’ve always been taught the importance of words and their meanings. I remember my Dad expressing frustration when I flippantly used the word ‘awesome’ as a teenager. This particular word has a glorious meaning, a meaning that my Dad cherished. And my use of the word made it meaningless! He was offended because ‘awesome’ is how God is described. His desire for me was to preserve this word for God, who is holy.  For my dad, awesome meant: “Arousing or inspiring awe; that fills someone with reverential fear, wonder, or respect.” (Oxford English Dictionary) For me, as a teenager, I used the word awesome to describe even the most mundane things. If someone spilled their drink all over their white shirt, I might sarcastically remark: ‘Well, isn’t that awesome?’ Or if someone belched really loudly, I might have said: ‘Awesome!’ I used the word 'awesome' constantly as a teen, but I rarely used this word in the way it was intended to be used.  I confess, I still sometimes use the word ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Plight of Christendom in this Unsettled Moment

I have engaged in more political conversations over the last few months than I have ever done in my life. I keep asking myself ‘why?’. I am not really a political creature. Sadly, I understand more about American politics than I do Canadian politics. I lived in the States for a little while, and I learned a lot more than I expected. People are more political in the States, and I learned by listening to others in discussion. I don’t have as many of these conversations here in Canada. I confess, as a Canadian, I don’t usually know who or what I am voting for when I vote. My life is spent in other spaces. I do a quick glance at the platforms, and I vote. I often don’t watch any of the debates. Life is overwhelming, and trying to figure out what is happening in politics is often something I would not normally prioritize. I suspect most of my friends function like this too. So why am I engaging this so much right now? It started because this year I did want to know who I am vot...
Post a Comment
Read more