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A Lament for the Sexually Abused



Ruined?

Did he ruin me? Are his lies permanently imprinted on my soul? How deep does the defiling go? Will it ever be lifted? Shall I always be haunted? Will my soul always be stunted? His shadow looms like a great dragon, seeking to devour every sweet potential in a little girl. I can’t forget. I can’t hide. I could scream forever into the void.

Does his defiling define me? Have I been made worthless and hysterical? By evil deeds done long ago in secret? This wickedness encroaches on me…can I escape?

What is a girl’s worth? What is she worth decades later, when she is broken and ashamed? Many plagues pursue me. Am I plagued because of him, because of what he did?

Can light pierce this darkness? Can light heal the decades of damage? Why am I crushed with increasing intensity? When does it all end? When is there quiet for my soul? When will the stillness wash over me, with precious rest from the raging violence of my mind and body? In the stillness, in the quiet, YOU are there. Will you save me? There’s always noise…bloodcurdling noise to disturb my mind. Will you save me?

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