When harmed or threatened by another, the most human response is to hate, curse and/or avenge oneself. I grew up learning about Corrie Ten Boom, and God’s call on her life to forgive the Nazi prison guard who had perpetrated so much evil. I grew up learning about Elisabeth Elliot, who stayed and ministered to the tribe that killed her beloved husband.
And I rejected their responses of forgiveness and grace.
I was consumed by anger, and I wanted to be consumed by my anger. I did not want to let that anger go. I did not think that was fair or just. I wanted to rage and hate and devour those who harmed me. I could not understand Corrie or Elisabeth.
But in God’s kindness, He kept setting Corrie Ten Boom and Elisabeth Elliot before me. He showed me their very real struggle to bless and not curse, and how He was with them as the Spirit sanctified their hearts on this matter. They needed to wrestle with this too. I learned of other Christians who blessed and did not curse. I liked those people…they were better people than I was. They were beautiful. But it still seemed absolutely impossible for me to become unconsumed by the anger that ravaged me. My heart started to admire those able to bless. But I felt it was impossible for me to bless.
This passage from Romans 12 completely haunted me. I have fought these words at many different points in my Christian walk. I wonder how many Christians are actually willing to submit to what this passage calls us to? Are there others who are as weak as I am? For me, it’s still a frequent temptation to not submit to God on these matters…
“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” ~Romans 12:14-21
Confession: I was angry at God for asking me to bless and not curse. I raged at Him. How could He ask this of any of us! Did He not see? Did He not hear? All that horrific suffering???? And I’m supposed to bless????? All the many horrible things that happened to me, by all the many people who sought to do me harm…and I was being asked to BLESS? This felt wrong. So wrong.
How God started to change my heart: I think at the core of my anger at God was a lack of trust in God. I needed to trust Him as Judge and as God. He will avenge. I needed to understand how thoroughly God would execute justice against those who oppressed and caused great harm in the world. I also needed to trust God that He knows what is good for my own soul. All-consuming anger is not something that I can give myself over to without great, devastating cost to my soul. Finally, I needed to understand, over and over again, what Jesus Christ accomplished for me on the Cross. My sin was disgusting. I could never be righteous enough to earn my way into God’s good graces. I was born in sin. I needed to see my own sin. I needed to see Christ’s loving sacrifice for my sin. I needed to see Christ’s infinite love for me. I needed to see His willingness lay down His life for me. I needed to be humbled, and not be wise in my own sight. I deserved God’s justice. And God chose to save me. How can I then turn around and seek my own justice against those who sin against me? This is hypocrisy. God saved me. He saved me from myself. I need to trust God to do what is right against those who have sinned against me. He might save them. He might not. But that’s God’s right to choose, not mine…I am mere dust.
God worked slowly with me: He didn’t rush me. He helped me to start with simple prayers for those I wished to curse. My heart still raged against them, but I prayed. Through prayer, I eventually started to be able to see my own sin, and be more thankful for Christ’s sacrifice for me. God kept nudging me slowly in the direction of blessing and not cursing. As I learned the habit of seeking to bless, God started to change my heart so that it could love. God helped me to forgive. God helped me to keep seeking His face and resting in His salvation. And this is the process God continues to work in me. I still struggle. I still have terrible days, days filled with rage. But God has been kind to me. He has helped me to understand the beauty of Romans 12, and helped me to learn how to live it. What this doesn’t mean: This doesn’t mean I have to allow abusers to keep abusing me. This doesn’t mean I should not report criminal activity. This doesn’t mean there is no place for earthly justice. However, I do need to respond to my enemies with blessing (prayer, desire for good) and not cursing (hateful rage in my heart). I need to pray for them to flee their sin, cultivate compassion for them (desire for God to save them), and trust God to eventually deal with justice against them. God is judge, and I am not.
Christian Maturity: As I walk with God and seek His face, I am learning that whether I am willing to bless and not curse is a mark of whether I am mature in my faith. When I respond with hate for hate, this teaches me that I have a long road before me in becoming like Christ. It reveals where I am at in my Christian maturity. It reveals that I have some deep immaturity. It reveals that I need to press into God and fervently seek repentance where I fall short. The Lord is gracious. He removes my sin as far as the east is from the west. I can have hope that He will complete His good work in me, and help me when I am hard-hearted and do not want to submit to God's Word. It is good for me to be humble, and honestly see my sin.
But in God’s kindness, He kept setting Corrie Ten Boom and Elisabeth Elliot before me. He showed me their very real struggle to bless and not curse, and how He was with them as the Spirit sanctified their hearts on this matter. They needed to wrestle with this too. I learned of other Christians who blessed and did not curse. I liked those people…they were better people than I was. They were beautiful. But it still seemed absolutely impossible for me to become unconsumed by the anger that ravaged me. My heart started to admire those able to bless. But I felt it was impossible for me to bless.
This passage from Romans 12 completely haunted me. I have fought these words at many different points in my Christian walk. I wonder how many Christians are actually willing to submit to what this passage calls us to? Are there others who are as weak as I am? For me, it’s still a frequent temptation to not submit to God on these matters…
“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” ~Romans 12:14-21
Confession: I was angry at God for asking me to bless and not curse. I raged at Him. How could He ask this of any of us! Did He not see? Did He not hear? All that horrific suffering???? And I’m supposed to bless????? All the many horrible things that happened to me, by all the many people who sought to do me harm…and I was being asked to BLESS? This felt wrong. So wrong.
How God started to change my heart: I think at the core of my anger at God was a lack of trust in God. I needed to trust Him as Judge and as God. He will avenge. I needed to understand how thoroughly God would execute justice against those who oppressed and caused great harm in the world. I also needed to trust God that He knows what is good for my own soul. All-consuming anger is not something that I can give myself over to without great, devastating cost to my soul. Finally, I needed to understand, over and over again, what Jesus Christ accomplished for me on the Cross. My sin was disgusting. I could never be righteous enough to earn my way into God’s good graces. I was born in sin. I needed to see my own sin. I needed to see Christ’s loving sacrifice for my sin. I needed to see Christ’s infinite love for me. I needed to see His willingness lay down His life for me. I needed to be humbled, and not be wise in my own sight. I deserved God’s justice. And God chose to save me. How can I then turn around and seek my own justice against those who sin against me? This is hypocrisy. God saved me. He saved me from myself. I need to trust God to do what is right against those who have sinned against me. He might save them. He might not. But that’s God’s right to choose, not mine…I am mere dust.
God worked slowly with me: He didn’t rush me. He helped me to start with simple prayers for those I wished to curse. My heart still raged against them, but I prayed. Through prayer, I eventually started to be able to see my own sin, and be more thankful for Christ’s sacrifice for me. God kept nudging me slowly in the direction of blessing and not cursing. As I learned the habit of seeking to bless, God started to change my heart so that it could love. God helped me to forgive. God helped me to keep seeking His face and resting in His salvation. And this is the process God continues to work in me. I still struggle. I still have terrible days, days filled with rage. But God has been kind to me. He has helped me to understand the beauty of Romans 12, and helped me to learn how to live it. What this doesn’t mean: This doesn’t mean I have to allow abusers to keep abusing me. This doesn’t mean I should not report criminal activity. This doesn’t mean there is no place for earthly justice. However, I do need to respond to my enemies with blessing (prayer, desire for good) and not cursing (hateful rage in my heart). I need to pray for them to flee their sin, cultivate compassion for them (desire for God to save them), and trust God to eventually deal with justice against them. God is judge, and I am not.
Christian Maturity: As I walk with God and seek His face, I am learning that whether I am willing to bless and not curse is a mark of whether I am mature in my faith. When I respond with hate for hate, this teaches me that I have a long road before me in becoming like Christ. It reveals where I am at in my Christian maturity. It reveals that I have some deep immaturity. It reveals that I need to press into God and fervently seek repentance where I fall short. The Lord is gracious. He removes my sin as far as the east is from the west. I can have hope that He will complete His good work in me, and help me when I am hard-hearted and do not want to submit to God's Word. It is good for me to be humble, and honestly see my sin.
Conclusion: We live in scary times. It’s easy to fear others. Sadly, that fear can lead to hate. As Christians, we need to guard against that. We need to cultivate blessing and not cursing. We need to not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with God. May the Lord have mercy on me. May the Lord have mercy on us all.
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